Getting Told

So, I've considered a few things lately:

1. I am obsessed with email. I do love it, as a form of communication. But, in reality, it's just a bunch of monologues. I can Shakespeare it up all I want, but without the back-and-forth, it's not all that much fun.

2. My long emails can scare people off. First, there's the guy that seemed like a perfect match. He was kind of a ridiculously-crazy match, even, in part because: he emailed big emails back! I guess the problem with folks like this is: eventually they get busy. I guess I get busy too, but I always seem to find time for email.

(I started this blog because I wanted to have a better place to funnel all my energy into, so that I'm not just having elaborate conversations with potential sweeties, that I wind up scaring off with my lengthy prose. If it's not my primary sense of internal spiritual prescience, it's my big emails. I can't help that I'm a size queen!)

Anyway. Perfect Match emailed 1.5 weeks ago, to say that, oh, actually, he's not ready to start dating again. Even though I'm really freaking awesome, and he totally feels conflicted, and half wants to jump right in...

In the end, he says, he can't. *blink*

And I realize that I'd been smelling something  rotten, and it's the whole idea of me writing, and the other person not writing back, or writing back begrudgingly. He'd become one of -those- people, in the days leading up to this.

*thinking*

3. Another potential-sweetie, who does a lot of travel with work, pointed out that, he loves my emails, all the trains of thought, all the lines of conversation, but, gosh, it's daunting.

4. I think I have too much free time on my hands. And, I need to find a way to funnel that time, and that writing energy, into something Positive.

5. I was told last week, by a Yoruban priest and community chief in the Ifá tradition, that I am a writer, and that I need to speak my truth, and unreasonably generous wealth will follow.

That's hard to hear. It speaks to my tendency to procrastinate. There is no time to procrastinate, in front of Yemaya and Ogun.

....

Meanwhile, I realize that I have 3 sets of friends, with little overlap. They use Twitter, Facebook, and G+. They each tend to scoff at the other platforms. I have started using all 3 platforms. God damn it.

So, there you go. I am contemplating buying a Mac laptop, even though I don't see myself using a laptop out in the world. I want simplicity at home, and a smaller footprint for computer space.

Here's to getting it all out. I'm preparing for next week, when I spend a full 7 days on Mt. Shasta, 3 days/3 nights of that on my own, with a sleeping bag, a staked-out meditation spot, a tarp, and maybe a shovel to dig poo holes. ... Match Boy didn't write back. Other Potential Sweetie has email access next week, when I don't... *sigh*

Here's to not having menstrual cramps during my visionquest. Today I hope to see a Chinese herbalist, and I hope for relief!

xxoo